It's Okay to Feel It All: Navigating the Mixed Emotions of Postpartum Life

Baby looking at the camera while being held by her mom.

Sometimes we have mixed emotions postpartum, and that's completely normal.

You're welcoming this wonderful new baby into your life, and there's so much joy in that. And at the very same time, you may feel overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, and exhausted. All of those emotions can fight with one another, and that's okay. So many of us feel this way. It doesn't make you bad, or abnormal, or wrong. It just is sometimes.

Being a parent can be hard. And at the same time, it can be full of joy, excitement, adventure, and love.

Mixed Emotions Postpartum are Real

Then you add on the everyday puzzles: feeding, diapers, clothing, and trying to figure out what that cry means. Is my baby tired or hungry? Do they want to be held, or do they need to be put down? Do they want to be swaddled? Are they too cold or too hot?

We go back and forth between joy and love and excitement, and exhaustion and frustration, and can someone please come help?

That's why knowing who your village is matters so much. Knowing who your teammates are. Knowing who to call. And for some families who live far from loved ones, it can feel like there's no one to call at all.

Please know this: you are not alone in this adventure. We're here at Gulf Coast Lactation, and we can sit with you during an appointment and help you figure things out.

• Is my baby hungry?

• Is my baby tired?

• Is my baby getting enough?

• What do I do in this situation?

• How do I hold my baby?

• How do I soothe my baby?

• How do I burp my baby?

These are exactly the questions we're here for.

When Doubt Creeps In

There will be plenty of times we doubt ourselves, not just as parents, but simply as humans. Day to day, we may struggle to decide what to wear, what to cook, what to do next. Do I wash the sheets and make the bed? Do I do the laundry or do I take a nap?

Here's a gentler question to ask instead: What do you need to feed your soul? What would give you a little balance, a little respite even if it's just five minutes?

Can you take a moment to sit in a quiet space and concentrate on your breathing? In and out, in and out, finding a calm space for just a few minutes. Can you go outside and walk barefoot in the grass? Can you go to the beach and walk barefoot in the sand? What refuels your spirit?

Find those little things that help you feel grounded, secure, and safe.

Sitting With the Hard Moments

I was reminded of this in yoga recently: sometimes we find ourselves in a hard spot, a difficult part of the journey, and we simply have to be with it, sit with it, and decide what the next best thing to do is. Sometimes we can't get out of that hard spot quickly. We're in it. We're in it for a little while, until we're out of it.

Learning to accept where we are — during the difficult moments, the joyous moments, even the boring moments — is a practice. Acknowledge it, be aware of it, and then do the next thing.

Small Goals, Small Wins

When you're feeling overwhelmed, try breaking things down into small increments and small goals. Ask yourself: What task is in front of me that I can actually complete?

Is it folding the laundry? Washing the dishes? Vacuuming? Or is it sitting with your baby snuggled against your chest, having a quiet moment together?

All of those things are okay.

Sometimes I get the laundry folded, but it doesn't get put away for a day or two because other things became more important, like making dinner, feeding myself, and getting everything prepped for the next day. The laundry was still there when I got back to it, and I put it away when I had a few minutes. That's life. That's every day. There's always something. What matters is knowing you have a choice.

Hard Things Build Us

Hard things, as we travel through them, are hard. But they also build character and resilience. They make us who we are.

Looking back at the hard seasons of my own life, I think, wow, look at everything I learned. Look at how I'm able to help someone else because I went through that hard piece of my life. I learned tools. I learned how to adjust. I learned how to get through it.

Hard times will turn into not-so-hard times. Joyful times may turn into tearful times. Life has its ups and downs. Honestly, we all like a little challenge here and there, that moment where we get to say Look at me, look what I did.

Celebrate the small wins. Notice the small miracles around you; there are so many, all the time. Feeling gratitude for the little things (and the big things) will help carry you through the difficult stretches.

You Don't Have to Do This Alone

Don't be afraid to pick up the phone, text, or email if you're struggling with feeding your baby or with knowing what to do next.

Milky Way Café is available on Thursdays from 10:00–11:30. Even if your question isn't about breastfeeding, even if you just need somewhere to go and someone to sit with you and say this is going to be okay, please come see us. Don't sit home alone, crying, feeling frustrated and beaten down. Reach out and let us help.

If you'd like to make a private appointment, we're more than happy to do that, and most major insurance plans cover breastfeeding appointments. We're glad to see you whether you're breastfeeding, bottle feeding, or your baby has transitioned to solids and you just need a helping hand and someone to talk to.

Scotty, Melanie, and Cassie are all available for appointments. We'll sit with you and figure out the best path forward for you and your baby, whether that's fine-tuning a latch, deciding it's okay to pump and bottle feed, or creating a feeding plan that truly works for your family. And yes, sometimes we may sit and cry together when life gets hard. That's okay too.

You're not alone. We're here.

— Gulf Coast Lactation